Aside

I've put a few things together recently...so here's an aside from the story.

From the beginning, there was speculation that my health issues stemmed from stress. At first dismissed by me as absurd, this theory has been brought up time and time again. I admit to existing under extremely high stress levels and I've even accepted the idea that stress may have played a factor. However, I didn't put much stock in the idea that stress started all this because my body is having real autoimmune issues. And before today, I couldn't connect the emotional to the physical to say that the one caused the other. Then I spoke to a friend of my grandma today who explained things well.

Mrs. I've-Been-Where-You-Are-Now explained that extreme stressful events, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, cause the "fight or flight" reaction in the body. This reaction released certain hormones or chemicals into the bloodstream. Extreme levels of these hormones (that are made to "fight" something) cause the body to turn on itself and begin attacking itself. I guess that they are soldiers and when they are released because they are told there is an enemy present, they find an enemy. And if there isn't one, they create one.

Well, once the body has turned on itself, there are physical consequences. Like an autoimmune disorder. Dr. X made the analogy that autoimmune is a category just as broad as the word "fruit." So, that's that. I have some type of autoimmune disorder. Problem is that no one can tell me what. Not even what kind. The rheumatologist passes me off to the neurologist who is suggesting a referral to the mayo clinic because he just doesn't know.

But my "aside" was that the missing puzzle piece was found. Someone, finally, explained to me exactly how the stress could cause a real, physical problem. And I'm open to exploring alternative methods to dissolve the underlying cause of the problem...but I've gotta be able to walk first.

William Hitt Center

While I waited and waited and waited, I just kept getting progressively weaker. I couldn't climb stairs, then I couldn't walk far, then I couldn't walk without a walker, then I couldn't walk at all...etc.

I have a friend who was in a situation of serious health problems who received a miracle treatment from a place called the William Hitt Center. So I researched. They treat a wide variety of illnesses with a wide variety of treatments. They use everything from chelation to ozone therapy to amino acid therapy, even urine therapy. So we called. And Dr. Treat-All sounded extremely positive that they could do something. He suggested that we get out there ASAP. HOPE! So, we bought 3 plane tickets to San Diego, renewed passports, the parents took 3 weeks off work and away we went.

The trip was hard. My parents had to essentially carry me across the country, then across the Mexican border every day. Dr. Treat-All told me that the adrenal glands weren't working properly, my thyroid was under-active and that I had an elevated C-reactive protein, which indicated some type of inflammation in the body, probably the heart. They recommended 14 days of ozone therapy to kill anything foreign in the body and a urine therapy regimen to increase my body's immune system.

So--14 grueling days of crossing the border, being lifted in and out of vans, 14 IV pricks, daily shots and lots of money later, I see no improvement. As a matter of fact, I just kept getting weaker and weaker.

A very ill, very disillusioned Jess traveled back to Alabama, unsure of what to do next. The untimely death of a friend's daughter (her heart just suddenly stopped one night), scared the parents a lot. So, I returned to my family practice doctor and asked for help. He admitted me to the hospital for diagnostic testing...again. Hell on earth. No diagnosis.

Homeopathy

In accordance with deciding to come off of the prednisone, and feeling like I was running out of options, I decided to turn to alternative medicine.

I began seeing a Dr. Frankness who diagnosed by problems as mostly emotional-based. He said something about trauma or a traumatic experience in my past causing my body to malfunction. I only saw him for a couple weeks before (for financial reasons) switching to another chiropractor/kinesiologist in the area who has been successful working with some friends of mine. Dr. Niceness was just absolutely sure that my problem stemmed mainly from Adrenal Stress Disorder.

Wow. We finally had a name. No one in the medical profession had been able to tell us anything except to call my symptoms dysautonomic neuropathy (which didn't explain anything). I was absolutely elated. You can't imagine how good it felt, after 6 months of not-knowing-ness, to have someone tell me what the problem was.

Okay--prognosis--up to a year of supplementation and dieting and just waiting for the body to heal itself. I dove in hard-core. I was on about 15 supplements a day and this really restrictive diet: no dairy, no wheat, no preservatives, no red meat or seafood, no white flour, no yeast, no salt, no sweeteners, etc. I was only allowed to eat things like fresh fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken, and rice. Without seasonings. Not too bad, you think? Well, not bad for a couple weeks, but when you begin dragging it out over 9 or 10 weeks...it got old real fast. But I was valiant.

Somewhere about 4 weeks after seeing Dr. Niceness, I had been off of the Prednisone for 2 weeks when I got too weak to work...again. The company wasn't happy, of course, but Dr. Niceness assured me that my body would heal if I could just rest and give it time. So I took a leave of absence from work to allow myself to heal and I waited.

Today

I realize that anyone that isn't here in Alabama near me probably doesn't have any idea how I went from apparently recovering back in October to being a hospitalized bed-bound invalid in 6 seemingly endless (but realistically, short) months.

Well, in October, I was being treated by a medical genius at UAB with heavy-dose Prednisone and IVIGg. Symptoms were decreasing, life was looking good again and I thought that this particular trial was over. Boy was I wrong. I thought that when I went back to see Dr. Genius in December, he would notice my improvements and I could begin coming off the steroids...

Well, imagine my surprise when he told me that he would plan to taper off the Prednisone over the next 18 months! In my estimation, this was unacceptable. I mean, I'm not a complainer or anything, but Prednisone is horrible, horrible stuff. I only agreed to take it in the first place because I thought it was a short-term help. Not only does it carry awful hormonal side effects, but truly physical ones as well.

I went back to seeing my family practice doctor who agreed to help me dose off the Prednisone and see where that left me....that fateful decision, whether the right or wrong choice at the time started the journey I've been taking since January.

Enough?

9 months. 35 doctors. 15 weeks sick leave. Prednisone. PICC line. 2 weeks hospitalization. 3 weeks treatment in Tijuana. Extreme supplementation and dieting. Natural medicine. Modern medicine. Kinesiology. Iridology. Struggle. No strength. Wheelchair-bound. Bed-ridden. Complete invalid. No improvement. No diagnosis.

Last 3 days. Hospital. 11 Doctors. 4 MRIs. EMG (4th in 7 months). Spinal tap. 20 vials of blood. Pulmonary exam. Eye exam. Bedpans and Catheters. Steroids. Plasma. 7 IV starts resulting in 2 active IVs, 3 infiltrated veins, and lots of bruising=pincushion. All tests normal. No idea. Hell. Hope. Despair. Faith. Transfer on Friday to The Mayo Clinic.

Family. Love. Sacrifice. Unity. Fierce Loyalty. Pure Faith.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I may feel a fraction of what Job did. The bright side of it all is that God must have faith in my faith...and that brings peace.

"...art thou greater than He?" D&C 121 ...No, I'm not.

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help." Psalms 121:1

Today

I feel better today. Today is a good day. :) I've also decided that no one wants to read about my problems--we all have our own to deal with, right? So, I'm not going to write anything else on this blog...I'm just gonna say that my life has been a dark blur for several months now and I'm beginning to see light again. Life is good, I'm getting better. We don't know if it was the parasite cleanse, the steroids, the dietary changes, the de-stressing of my life, or my renewed dedication to living the Gospel and the uplift that General Conference brought...but something turned the tide a couple of weeks ago and I eagerly look to the future.

This week

Went to UAB (university of alabama birmingham) to see a world-renown nueromuscular specialist. In spite of his lacking bedside manner, the man is a genius and in 4 short hours, managed to accomplish something no one else has done in 11 weeks: gave me a diagnosis.

He doesn't know what caused it, but I have DYSAUTONOMIA. crap. wants to push an extremely radical treatment with high dosage of prednisone and gammaglobulins. Scared Senseless.

I have been seeing an osteopath independently of my numerous MDs and he's been treating me through a branch of chiropractics called orthospinology (deals with CNS).

This scripture has been on my mind today. D&C 123:17: "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

I have decided to put God's promise to the test. Instead of just jumping blindly into a harsh treatment that may be as detrimental to my body or worse than what I'm already living with, I'm gonna push all my options:

• continue having these chiropractic adjustments--they seem to help a little
• 10 day osteopathic parasitic all-body cleanse
• have my stake pres (head/facial surgeon) wipe out the supposedly benign tumor in my sinuses
• gonna see the best people I can to be tested for foreign parasites (probably in Boston)

Then, if I'm still not better, I'm gonna pray hard and jump whole-heartedly into the steroid treatment having faith that that will fix whatever it is. But I feel very strongly that if I just jump into this treatment without having tried every other possible option, I will always wonder if I did something foolish and put my body through hell unduly.

Prayers would be appreciated.

Matakot ako pero matapang.