Ah Ha.

It makes sense now. Not the why, nor the what, but the how.

Everyone tried to tell me that I got sick because of the stress I was under at that time in my life. I mean, within the year prior to getting sick, I had suffered 6 or 7 life-changing events, any one of which was significant enough to alter one's physical health...but I didn't buy it. I couldn't understand how emotional or even psychological stress could produce such physical results. Until my grandma's friend came to see me.

She put it simply: when you suffer from stress, your adrenal glands are stimulated along with other "fight or flight" responses triggered by the body. When the demands on these responses are continued for any significant length of time, your body keeps releasing these hormones being triggered and your entire hormonal balance becomes, well, unbalanced.

All these "fighters" being released into your body need something to fight and if the stress is emotional or psychological, there is no physical enemy present in your body and these little warriors create one. They turn on you and begin to attack your own immune system. And that's how long-term stress creates a very real physical problem: an autoimmune disorder.

Unfortunately, relieving the stress isn't enough to reverse an autoimmune disorder once contracted. However, a huge key to not relapsing (once the horrible, horrible poison treatment is over) is to debride the damaged neurological tissue and emotional scars left by the trauma. Then to eliminate stress from your life. Huh. Think I'll look into yoga.

Moms and RNs

So, I think it takes a special person to be a mom. I also think moms have a lot in common with RNs. And if a is true and a=b, then b must be true and it must take someone special to be an RN.

I have an aunt who has been an RN for over 30 years. She currently lives in Washington, D.C. with her daughter and working up there. When I got so sick that I needed a full-time caregiver, she took time off from her job to come stay with me during the day. She comes all day, every day and is always cheerful. I know that I could never be a nurse because half the stuff she does for me disgusts me, yet she just works along and maintains her great attitude. I tell ya--it takes someone special to devote a life to serving others the way an RN does every day.

My mom has also been incredible. She has been so willing to help me--with everything. I know she must get annoyed waiting on me hand and foot all the time, but she swears she doesn't...claims it has to do with being a mom. Listen to this: she goes to work all day, every day, then she comes back and waits on me all night. In the morning, she helps me get ready for the day before she leaves for work, and in the afternoon, picks me up before she even goes home.

THEN, she spends her days off helping me run errands or hauling me (literally) around town to get me nails done or my eyebrows waxed (if I need some help with my sanity) or preparing medical records or...etc. Yesterday, we went to Lowe's and, knowing that I can't garden so anything I buy, she's gonna have to plant for me, helped me purchase several Gerbera Daisies for the garden around my, currently unoccupied, home. Now, in the next couple of days, she'll put them in for me. And she'll never complain or say a word because she's incredible.

Moms and RNs. Thanks to you all.

Aside

I've put a few things together recently...so here's an aside from the story.

From the beginning, there was speculation that my health issues stemmed from stress. At first dismissed by me as absurd, this theory has been brought up time and time again. I admit to existing under extremely high stress levels and I've even accepted the idea that stress may have played a factor. However, I didn't put much stock in the idea that stress started all this because my body is having real autoimmune issues. And before today, I couldn't connect the emotional to the physical to say that the one caused the other. Then I spoke to a friend of my grandma today who explained things well.

Mrs. I've-Been-Where-You-Are-Now explained that extreme stressful events, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, cause the "fight or flight" reaction in the body. This reaction released certain hormones or chemicals into the bloodstream. Extreme levels of these hormones (that are made to "fight" something) cause the body to turn on itself and begin attacking itself. I guess that they are soldiers and when they are released because they are told there is an enemy present, they find an enemy. And if there isn't one, they create one.

Well, once the body has turned on itself, there are physical consequences. Like an autoimmune disorder. Dr. X made the analogy that autoimmune is a category just as broad as the word "fruit." So, that's that. I have some type of autoimmune disorder. Problem is that no one can tell me what. Not even what kind. The rheumatologist passes me off to the neurologist who is suggesting a referral to the mayo clinic because he just doesn't know.

But my "aside" was that the missing puzzle piece was found. Someone, finally, explained to me exactly how the stress could cause a real, physical problem. And I'm open to exploring alternative methods to dissolve the underlying cause of the problem...but I've gotta be able to walk first.

William Hitt Center

While I waited and waited and waited, I just kept getting progressively weaker. I couldn't climb stairs, then I couldn't walk far, then I couldn't walk without a walker, then I couldn't walk at all...etc.

I have a friend who was in a situation of serious health problems who received a miracle treatment from a place called the William Hitt Center. So I researched. They treat a wide variety of illnesses with a wide variety of treatments. They use everything from chelation to ozone therapy to amino acid therapy, even urine therapy. So we called. And Dr. Treat-All sounded extremely positive that they could do something. He suggested that we get out there ASAP. HOPE! So, we bought 3 plane tickets to San Diego, renewed passports, the parents took 3 weeks off work and away we went.

The trip was hard. My parents had to essentially carry me across the country, then across the Mexican border every day. Dr. Treat-All told me that the adrenal glands weren't working properly, my thyroid was under-active and that I had an elevated C-reactive protein, which indicated some type of inflammation in the body, probably the heart. They recommended 14 days of ozone therapy to kill anything foreign in the body and a urine therapy regimen to increase my body's immune system.

So--14 grueling days of crossing the border, being lifted in and out of vans, 14 IV pricks, daily shots and lots of money later, I see no improvement. As a matter of fact, I just kept getting weaker and weaker.

A very ill, very disillusioned Jess traveled back to Alabama, unsure of what to do next. The untimely death of a friend's daughter (her heart just suddenly stopped one night), scared the parents a lot. So, I returned to my family practice doctor and asked for help. He admitted me to the hospital for diagnostic testing...again. Hell on earth. No diagnosis.

Homeopathy

In accordance with deciding to come off of the prednisone, and feeling like I was running out of options, I decided to turn to alternative medicine.

I began seeing a Dr. Frankness who diagnosed by problems as mostly emotional-based. He said something about trauma or a traumatic experience in my past causing my body to malfunction. I only saw him for a couple weeks before (for financial reasons) switching to another chiropractor/kinesiologist in the area who has been successful working with some friends of mine. Dr. Niceness was just absolutely sure that my problem stemmed mainly from Adrenal Stress Disorder.

Wow. We finally had a name. No one in the medical profession had been able to tell us anything except to call my symptoms dysautonomic neuropathy (which didn't explain anything). I was absolutely elated. You can't imagine how good it felt, after 6 months of not-knowing-ness, to have someone tell me what the problem was.

Okay--prognosis--up to a year of supplementation and dieting and just waiting for the body to heal itself. I dove in hard-core. I was on about 15 supplements a day and this really restrictive diet: no dairy, no wheat, no preservatives, no red meat or seafood, no white flour, no yeast, no salt, no sweeteners, etc. I was only allowed to eat things like fresh fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken, and rice. Without seasonings. Not too bad, you think? Well, not bad for a couple weeks, but when you begin dragging it out over 9 or 10 weeks...it got old real fast. But I was valiant.

Somewhere about 4 weeks after seeing Dr. Niceness, I had been off of the Prednisone for 2 weeks when I got too weak to work...again. The company wasn't happy, of course, but Dr. Niceness assured me that my body would heal if I could just rest and give it time. So I took a leave of absence from work to allow myself to heal and I waited.